Dear Baby I Never Met,
I never got to see your face, yet I’ve imagined it more times than I can count. I’ve pictured the way your eyes might light up, the curve of your tiny lips, the softness of your cheeks.
I never held you wrapped safely in my arms or breathed in the scent of your newborn skin. I never felt your tiny fingers curl around mine, but if I close my eyes, I can still imagine that warmth, that fleeting connection that lingers in my heart.
I never got to experience the quiet, intimate bond of breastfeeding you. I never saw your first smile, your first laugh, or even heard the sound of your first cry. I will never have the chance to comfort you when you’re scared, sad, or hurting.
And yet… I still love you. I am still your mother. My heart aches and longs for you in ways words can scarcely capture. Even though your time in my womb was short, even though you were only with me for a few months, my love for you is unending, eternal.
I carried you. I carried you under my heart, within the safety of my body, and in that sacred space, I knew you. You are my child. I loved you the moment I saw those two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I loved you fiercely, with every part of me, and I cared for you in every way I could while you rested safely inside me.
And then, when I began losing you, when you started slipping away far too early, a part of me went with you. A piece of my soul left the world the day you left my body. Even though you are in a better place, even though Jesus now comforts every tear you would have shed, even though He witnesses your first smiles, your first laughter, your first words…
A part of my heart will always be with you. That day changed me forever. I carry you with me in everything I do. You are a part of me, always.
I hope, as you watch over us from heaven, you feel our love surrounding you. I hope you know how much you would have been cherished, how perfectly you would have fit into our family. I hope you feel us, our hearts reaching out to yours, because we will never stop loving you.
With all the love a mother’s heart can hold,
Your Mama
