As moms of babies, we hear it over and over: “You’ll have the rest of your life to get back in shape, Mama. Enjoy those newborn snuggles!” or “It goes so fast, just soak it all in!”
And while those words are absolutely true—and I’ve said them myself at times—I want to add this:
You matter too, moms.
For nine (or so) months, you carried an enormous blessing. You nurtured and grew a life inside you. You sacrificed sleep, your favorite clothes, your comfort, date nights because you were too exhausted, and even the simple joys you once took for granted. You endured swelling in your feet, exhaustion in your bones, and aches in every corner of your body.
Pregnancy changes literally every part of you. And even with the most supportive partner by your side, it’s a journey you walk alone in so many ways. It’s not always easy. It’s not easy to wake up each day and look in the mirror—or inside yourself—and feel like a stranger to the person you once were.
And then, almost overnight, everything shifts with the birth of your baby.
Whether you’ll get a chance to brush your teeth, put on real clothes, step outside for fresh air, or even attempt a simple household chore—none of it is guaranteed anymore. These might seem like small or silly things, but when your day holds nothing predictable, when your life feels unrecognizable, it can be crushing.
Right now, I’ve lost parts of myself I once took for granted. I can’t work. I can’t exercise. I can’t even enjoy a simple cup of coffee. I’ve lost the little rituals that made me feel like me.
And I’m not sharing this to complain, to ask for pity, or to suggest motherhood is miserable. I say it because it’s true. This is my life at this moment—even though I know it won’t be like this forever. I say it because it’s okay to recognize that your needs matter too, even with a newborn in your arms, even while this stage flies by faster than we can believe.
Wanting a shower without a crying baby, a meal eaten with two hands, or a quiet minute to yourself doesn’t make you a bad mom. It doesn’t make you selfish, unfaithful, or ungrateful. It makes you human.
Motherhood can make us lose ourselves, and that’s hard. Hard is not bad, wrong, or permanent. It’s simply hard.
It can be hard right now—and that is okay.
Because I believe that when we share the hard parts, when we speak honestly about the struggles behind the snuggles and smiles, we create space to find our way back to the good parts too.
